¡La Nochebuena! ¡Ah, la Nochebuena! Jamás celebraré yo la Nochebuena…

Y Enrique Templier decía esto con una voz tan furiosa como si le propusieran una infamia.

Los otros, riendo, exclamaban: —¿Por qué te encolerizas así?

—Porque la Nochebuena me ha jugado la más abominable de las burlas. Porque guardo un invencible horror a esta noche de alegría imbécil.

—¿Qué fue?

—¿Qué? ¿Vosotros queréis saberlo? Pues escuchad. 

Aquel invierno era muy frío, tan frío que hacía morir a los pobres en las calles. 

Tenía yo entonces entre manos una obra urgente y rehusé todas las invitaciones que me fueron hechas para celebrar la Nochebuena, prefiriendo pasar la noche delante de mi mesa de trabajo. Comí solo y volví a mi tarea. Pero hacia las diez, el ruido de las calles, que a pesar de mis preocupaciones percibía, y los preparativos de cena que se advertían en la vecindad, me agitaron. No sabía lo que hacía. Escribía cien disparates y comprendí que no haría cosa de provecho en aquella noche. 

Daba grandes paseos por mi cuarto; me sentaba, me levantaba; indudablemente sufría la misteriosa influencia de la alegría de fuera, y me resigné. 

Llamé a mi muchacha y le dije: —Ángela, vaya usted a buscar cena para dos; ostras, una perdiz y cangrejos, jamón y pasteles. Traiga usted también dos botellas de champaña; ponga dos cubiertos y acuéstese usted.

Obedeció un poco sorprendida. Cuando todo estuvo preparado me puse el abrigo y salí.

Quedaba una gran cuestión que resolver. ¿Con quién celebraría mi Nochebuena? Mis amigos estarían todos invitados. Para contar con uno hubiera sido necesario comprometerle anticipadamente. Entonces pensé en realizar una buena acción al mismo tiempo que me procuraba compañía. Y me dije: "París está lleno de hermosas y pobres jóvenes que no tienen cena esta noche y que andan errantes en busca de un muchacho generoso. Yo seré la Providencia de Navidad para una de esas desheredadas. 

Voy a corretear un poco por las calles, entraré en los lugares del placer, preguntaré, ojearé y escogeré a mi gusto.

Y empecé a recorrer la ciudad. 

Desde luego, encontré gran número de muchachas infelices que buscaban aventura, pero unas eran feas hasta proporcionar una indigestión, y otras tan delgadas que podían quebrarse por los pies si se tropezaban. 

Yo soy débil, ya lo sabéis. Adoro a las mujeres llenitas. Cuanto más metidas en carnes, más me gustan. 

De pronto, cerca del teatro de Variedades, descubro un perfil que me agrada. Una cabeza hermosa y dos curvas atractivas: la del pecho, muy bella; la de más abajo, sorprendente. Una barriga de pato gordo. Me quedaba un punto que esclarecer: el rostro.

El rostro es el postre; y el resto, el asado. 

Apreté el paso. Era encantadora, muy joven, morena y con grandes ojos negros. 

Le hice mi proposición, que aceptó sin vacilar. 

Un cuarto de hora después estábamos sentados a la mesa en el comedor de mi casa.

Al entrar exclamó: —¡Ah, qué bien se está aquí!

Y miraba alrededor con la satisfacción visible de haber encontrado habitación y mesa en aquella noche glacial. Era una mujer arrogante y gruesa. 

Se quitó el abrigo y el sombrero. Se sentó y se puso a comer; pero no parecía del todo bien dispuesta. De cuando en cuando, su cara, un poco pálida, se alteraba como si sufriese un dolor oculto. 

Le pregunté:—¿Tienes algún disgusto?, ¿te pasa algo?

Me contestó:—¡Bah! Olvidémonos de todo.

Empezó a beber. Vaciaba de un sorbo su vaso de champaña y lo llenaba sin cesar. 

Bien pronto empezó a ponerse encarnada y a reír locamente. 

Yo la adoraba ya. La besaba apasionadamente y descubrí que no era vulgar ni grosera.

Pero, una hora más tarde...

En fin: llegó el momento de acostarse, y mientras yo levantaba la mesa colocada delante de la chimenea, ella se desnudó vivamente y se deslizó entre las sábanas. 

Mis vecinos hacían un ruido infernal, riendo y cantando como locos, y yo pensaba: "He hecho bien en ir a buscar a esta hermosa muchacha. No habría sido posible trabajar de ningún modo.

Un quejido profundo me hizo volver la cabeza. —¿Qué tienes, querida? No respondió, pero siguió suspirando dolorosamente, como si sufriera de una manera horrible.

—¿Estás indispuesta? —le pregunté.

Entonces lanzó un grito, un grito espantoso. Me precipité hacia ella con una bujía en la mano. Su fisonomía estaba descompuesta por el dolor. Se retorcía las manos y salían de su garganta gemidos sordos como el estertor de un agonizante. 

Aturdido, yo le preguntaba: —¿Qué tienes?

No respondía y comenzó a dar alaridos. 

De pronto, las vecinas callaron y se pusieron a escuchar lo que pasaba en mi habitación.

—¿Qué tienes? Dímelo —repetía yo—. ¿Qué te duele?

Entonces balbuceó: —¡Oh, mi vientre, mi vientre! Levanté sus ropas y vi…

Aquella mujer, amigos míos ¡estaba dando a luz!

Entonces, con la cabeza perdida, fui hacia la pared de mi cuarto y empecé a dar puñetazos gritando con todas mis fuerzas: —¡Socorro, socorro!

La puerta se abrió y se precipitó en mi cuarto una multitud de hombres vestidos de frac, mujeres escotadas, pierrots, turcos, mosqueteros. Esta invasión me enloquecía de tal modo que no acertaba a encontrar una explicación. 

Temían un accidente grave, un crimen, quizá, y no me comprendían. 

Yo pude decir al fin: —Es… es que está dando a luz.

Entonces todos la examinaron, dando cada uno su opinión. Un capuchino, sobre todo, pretendía ser inteligente en el asunto y quería ayudar a la Naturaleza. 

Todos estaban más o menos borrachos y creo que la hubieran matado. Yo me precipité sin sombrero por la escalera para buscar un médico viejo que vivía cerca. 

Cuando volví con el médico, los vecinos de todos los pisos ocupaban mi habitación. Cuatro desahogados, sentados a la mesa, concluían con mis cangrejos y mi champaña.

A mi llegada, oí un grito formidable y una lechera me presentó sobre una tabla un pedazo de carne, arrugada y doblada, que gemía y maullaba como un gato. —Es una niña —me dijo.

El médico examinó a la recién parida, declarando que su estado era grave por haber sucedido el parto después de una cena, y se fue, anunciándome que mandaría a una enfermera y una nodriza. 

Las dos mujeres llegaron una hora después, trayendo un paquete de medicamentos. 

Yo pasé la noche en una butaca, demasiado aturdido para poder reflexionar sobre las consecuencias del lance.

Volvió el médico por la mañana y halló bastante mal a la enferma.

—Su mujer de usted —me dijo.

—No es mi mujer —le interrumpí.

—O su querida, poco me importa —y siguió enumerando los cuidados, los medicamentos y el régimen que necesitaba.

¿Qué hacer? Enviar a esa desgraciada al hospital hubiera significado aparecer a los ojos de toda la vecindad, del barrio entero, como un desalmado. 

La retuve en mi casa y estuvo seis semanas enferma en mi misma cama.

¿El niño? Lo di a criar en un pueblo cercano. Me cuesta cincuenta pesetas al mes y, habiendo pagado hasta hoy, me veo obligado a pagar hasta que me muera. 

Cuando tenga criterio para comprender, supondrá que soy su padre.

Y para colmo de desdichas, cuando estuvo curada…, me quería, me quería con delirio la muy…

Y bien...?

Pero se puso delgada como un gato hambriento. Y me paso el día huyendo de la maldita, que parece un esqueleto, y me aguarda en las calles, se esconde para verme pasar, me detiene de noche cuando salgo, para besarme la mano, me aburre y me vuelve loco. Ya sabéis por qué no celebraré nunca la Nochebuena.»

"The Christmas-eve supper! Oh! no, I shall never go in for that again!" 

Stout Henri Templier said that in a furious voice, as if some one had proposed some crime to him.

while the others laughed and said: "What are you flying into a rage about?"

"Because a Christmas-eve supper played me the dirtiest trick in the world, and ever since I have felt an insurmountable horror for that night of imbecile gayety."

"Tell us what it is?"

"You want to know what it was? Very well then, just listen.

"You remember how cold it was two years ago at Christmas; cold enough to kill poor people in the streets. The Seine was covered with ice; the pavements froze one's feet through the soles of one's boots, and the whole world seemed to be at the point of going to pot.

"I had a big piece of work on, and so I refused every invitation to supper, as I preferred to spend the night at my writing table. I dined alone and then began to work. But about ten o'clock I grew restless at the thought of the gay and busy life all over Paris, at the noise in the streets which reached me in spite of everything, at my neighbors' preparations for supper, which I heard through the walls. I hardly knew any longer what I was doing; I wrote nonsense, and at last I came to the conclusion that I had better give up all hope of producing any good work that night.

"I walked up and down my room; I sat down and got up again. I was certainly under the mysterious influence of the enjoyment outside, and I resigned myself to it. 

So I rang for my servant and said to her: 'Angela, go and get a good supper for two; some oysters, a cold partridge, some crayfish, hams and some cakes. Put out two bottles of champagne, lay the cloth and go to bed.'

"She obeyed in some surprise, and when all was ready, I put on my great coat and went out. 

A great question was to be solved: 'Whom was I going to bring in to supper?' My female friends had all been invited elsewhere, and if I had wished to have one, I ought to have seen about it beforehand, so I thought that I would do a good action at the same time, and I said to myself: "'Paris is full of poor and pretty girls who will have nothing on their table tonight, and who are on the look out for some generous fellow. I will act the part of Providence to one of them this evening.

I will find one if I have to go into every pleasure resort, and have to question them and hunt for one till I find one to my choice.' 

And I started off on my search.

"I certainly found many poor girls, who were on the look-out for some adventure, but they were ugly enough to give any man a fit of indigestion, or thin enough to freeze as they stood if they had stopped.

You all know that I have a weakness for stout women. The more flesh they have, the better I like them, and a female colossus would drive me out of my senses with pleasure.

"Suddenly, opposite the Théâtre des Variétés, I saw a face to my liking. A good head, and then two protuberances, that on the chest very beautiful, and that on the stomach simply surprising; it was the stomach of a fat goose. I trembled with pleasure, and said: "'By Jove! What a fine girl!' "It only remained for me to see her face. 

A woman's face is the dessert, while the rest is ... the joint. "

I hastened on, and overtook her, and turned round suddenly under a gas lamp. She was charming, quite young, dark, with large, black eyes.

I immediately made my proposition, which she accepted without any hesitation.

A quarter of an hour later, we were sitting at supper in my lodgings. 

'Oh! how comfortable it is here,' she said as she came in.

And she looked about her with evident satisfaction at having found a supper and a bed, on that bitter night. She was superb; so beautiful that she astonished me, and so stout that she fairly captivated me.

"She took off her cloak and hat, sat down and began to eat; but she seemed in low spirits, and sometimes her pale face twitched as if she were suffering from some hidden sorrow.

"'Have you anything troubling you?' I asked her.

"'Bah! Don't let us think of troubles!'

"And she began to drink. She emptied her champagne glass at a draught, filled it again, and emptied it again, without stopping.

Soon a little color came into her cheeks, and she began to laugh.

"I adored her already, kissed her continually, and discovered that she was neither stupid, nor common, nor coarse as ordinary street-walkers are. I asked her for some details about her life, but she replied: 'My little fellow, that is no business of yours!

"' Alas! an hour later....

"At last it was time to go to bed, and while I was clearing the table, which had been laid in front of the fire, she undressed herself quickly, and got in. 

My neighbors were making a terrible din, singing and laughing like lunatics, and so I said to myself: 'I was quite right to go out and bring in this girl; I should never have been able to do any work.'

"At that moment, however, a deep groan made me look round, and I said: 'What is the matter with you, my dear?' "She did not reply, but continued to utter painful sighs, as if she were suffering horribly.

I continued: 'Do you feel ill?' And suddenly she uttered a cry, a heartrending cry, and I rushed up to the bed, with a candle in my hand.

"Her face was distorted with pain, and she was wringing her hands, panting and uttering long, deep groans, which sounded like a rattle in the throat, and which are so painful to hear.

I asked her in consternation: 'What is the matter with you? Do tell me what is the matter.'

She didn't answer and began to cry.

Suddenly the neighbors fell silent, listening to what was happening at home.

I repeated: "Where are you suffering, tell me, where are you suffering?"

"'Oh! my stomach! my stomach!' she said. I pulled up the bed-clothes, and I saw ... 

My friends, she was in labor.

"Then I lost my head, and I ran and knocked at the wall with my fists, shouting: 'Help! help!'

"My door was opened almost immediately, and a crowd of people came in, men in evening dress, women in low necks, harlequins, Turks, Musketeers, and this inroad startled me so, that I could not explain myself.

And they, who had thought that some accident had happened, or that a crime had been committed, could not understand what was the matter. 

At last, however, I managed to say: 'This ... this ... woman ... is being confined.'

"Then they looked at her, and gave their opinion, and a Friar, especially, declared that he knew all about it, and wished to assist nature.

But as they were all as drunk as pigs, I was afraid that they would kill her, and I rushed downstairs without my hat, to fetch an old doctor, who lived in the next street. 

When I came back with him, the whole house was up; the gas on the stairs had been relighted, the lodgers from every floor were in my room, while four boatmen were finishing my champagne and lobsters.

"As soon as they saw me they raised a loud shout, and a milkmaid presented me with a horrible little wrinkled specimen of humanity, that was mewing like a cat, and said to me: 'It is a girl.'

"The doctor examined the woman, declared that she was in a dangerous state, as the event had occurred immediately after supper, and he took his leave, saying he would immediately send a sick nurse and a wet nurse, and an hour later.

The two women came, bringing all that was requisite with them.

"I spent the night in my armchair, too distracted to be able to think of the consequences. 

And almost as soon as it was light, the doctor came again, who found his patient very ill.

He said to me: 'Your wife, Monsieur....'

"'She is not my wife,' I interrupted him.

"'Very well then, your mistress; it does not matter to me.' And he told me what must be done for her, what her diet must be, and then wrote a prescription.

"What was I to do? Could I send the poor creature to the hospital? I should have been looked upon as a brute in the house and in all the neighborhood.

So I kept her in my rooms, and she had my bed for six weeks.

"I sent the child to some peasants at Poissy to be taken care of, and she still costs me fifty francs a month, for as I had paid at first, I shall be obliged to go on paying as long as I live.

And later on, she will believe that I am her father. 

But to crown my misfortunes, when the girl had recovered ... I found that she was in love with me, madly in love with me, the baggage!"

"Well?"

"Well, she had grown as thin as a homeless cat, and I turned the skeleton out of doors, but she watches for me in the streets, hides herself, so that she may see me pass, stops me in the evening when I go out, in order to kiss my hand, and, in fact, worries me enough to drive me mad. 

And that is why I never keep Christmas eve now."